Es domingo y son casi las once de la noche. Tengo trabajo mañana, pero estoy aquí, escribiéndote. Acabo de ver un video de mi nueva creadora favorita en YouTube (se llama Nerva) y necesito hablar de ella. La descubrí al azar.

Anoche pensaba en las montañas, algo que ya se ha vuelto un hábito. Primero sentí un profundo vacío en mi corazón; después, una creciente necesidad de salir y hacer senderismo. Pronto. Pero la frustración llegó al recordar que, por ahora, simplemente no es posible. Así que solo puedo esperar aunque las montañas me siguen llamando, como un amante susurrando cositas dulces en mis oídos. ¿Y cómo diablos puedo resistir algo así?

Para cubrir esa ausencia temporalmente, decidí hacer algo: ver videos en español sobre senderismo. Esto no solo me permite saber más sobre este nuevo pasatiempo, sino que también me ayuda a retomar el español. Soy un genio, ¿verdad?

Sé que solo me va a hacer sentir más desesperada por volver a visitar las montañas, pero bueno.

Al poco tiempo, me topé con Nerva. Ella es una gran inspiración y ahora estoy muy emocionada de ver todos sus videos.

Aun así, siento que tengo que hacerlo porque es algo con lo que me siento incómoda, pero sé que luego me voy a sentir súper orgullosa de haberlo hecho. — Nerva, en el video Las vistas más espectaculares del Pirineo

Ella estaba hablando de hablar en público, pero esa cita me pareció una revelación porque es exactamente como me siento con el senderismo y otras actividades al aire libre, especialmente como persona introvertida y muy hogareña. Me da ansiedad, claro, pero también me da una sensación de poder. De libertad. Y todo eso me hace sentir tan bien. Ni siquiera puedo expresarlo con palabras.

I just registered for a tree-planting activity scheduled for next month, and I can’t wait! The organizer is one of my latest IG finds. (I hate social media, but it’s been a blessing for this new hyperfixation.) They’re pretty new, so I’m a little anxious, but they seem promising. I love that they’re not just about hiking but also about overall environmental awareness and appreciation.

It’s not like it’s a spur-of-the-moment decision—I’ve had days to think it over, after all. More importantly, I’ve been meaning to join a tree-planting activity for ages, and now that the opportunity has presented itself, it would be silly to ignore it. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to get on the universe’s bad side.

I’m doing it solo, and I’m both scared and excited. This time, my brothers or their friends won’t be here to do the socializing for me. It’s terrifying, but I won’t let my introversion stop me. I’m pretty used to going on solo dates and adventures, so it shouldn’t be too hard, right?

Fingers crossed.

Life has been hectic lately—a blur of endless coughing fits, antibiotics, sleeping, and blazing through crime and mystery novels to stay sane. I mostly use Instagram to chat with friends, but in one way or another, my feed has now transformed into a treasure trove of hiking and outdoor-related posts, and I welcome it. In fact, I discovered the NGO I mentioned yesterday through an IG ad.

I scroll until I get my fill, and then I save reels of mountains I’d like to conquer one day, or hiking schedules from various organizers. (Soon, I’ll be in a rabbit hole to figure out which ones are reliable.) Occasionally, I’d also watch detailed hiking videos on YouTube, because why not?

I just recovered from an illness that’s partly due to the Pulag hike (emphasis on partly because I was already half sick days before the hike), but I’m already thinking about which trail to visit next. Or which outdoor activity to do.

I’ve always loved nature, sure, but I’ve only ever admired it from afar. On the outskirts, nestled in my home, gazing at Mt. Makiling and its hazy outline from our iron-clad windows. Inside a vehicle, zooming past towering trees or catching a glimpse of the Sierra Madre mountain range while we traverse the city’s polluted highways.

I’ve always been a homebody, but now, there’s an itch inside me, an intense yearning for the great outdoors. Most people entering their 30s transition to a “calmer” lifestyle, choosing the comforts of home over adventure. But the reverse is happening to me.

Sometimes, I don’t even recognize myself anymore.

And instead of feeling alarmed, I feel liberated.

Here’s to growth and stepping outside of your comfort zone.

I randomly stumbled upon an environmental NGO offering a wide range of classes, mostly on marine and forest conservation.

After a few minutes of browsing their website, my heart thrumming against my chest in excitement, I was already filling out a contact form to learn more about their offerings. Their one-week programs were enticing but too daunting for an introvert like me (at least for now), so I inquired about their one-day course on rainforest ecosystems instead (a lecture followed by a field activity).

The last section of the form was the classic “Tell me about yourself.” My hands flew across my keyboard, and after quickly polishing the text, I submitted it without a second thought. I didn’t want to give myself the chance to overthink and back out.

Here’s what I came up with:

Hi! I’m Anne from Laguna. I’ve been working in the corporate world for around 8 years. I hold a Bachelor of Arts degree, and one of my biggest what-ifs in life is, “What if I’d pursued the natural sciences instead?”

I’ve always been fascinated by nature, particularly trees, forests, and the mountains. I also love the ocean and its many secrets, and learning to swim—and, eventually, scuba dive—is on my bucket list. For now, though, I want to focus on the land first, starting with forests.

For years, nature has been at the back of my mind, but I never seriously considered learning about it. Sure, I’d expose myself to nature-related books, online courses, videos, documentaries, and podcasts, but it was always just a phase. For one reason or another, nature was never fully integrated into my daily life. When I finally went hiking for the first time this month, after putting it off for years because I lacked the confidence, I realized what had been missing.

Being out in nature and learning firsthand.

It seems so simple, but I’ve never been an “outdoor girl.” I live in a city and have always considered myself a homebody. I didn’t grow up camping, hiking, or spending weekends in nature. But now that I’m in my 30s, I’m ready to finally embrace this side of myself and pursue my passion for the natural world. One is never too old to learn, and learning doesn’t have to be in a formal academic setting.

I’m looking forward to this new stage of my life, and I’d love to learn with your organization in the future.

Was it oversharing? Most likely.

Do I regret sending it? Definitely not.

Can I afford their classes, which also entails flying across the country? Absolutely not, but there’s no harm in asking, right?